Froideur or Friendship?

Recently I read some news about the death of a loved one of a person I used to know. I didn’t know them well but I’d like to think I gave them the benefit of the doubt of being sincere. Death of a loved one is never an easy pill to swallow so I am empathetic to the grieving process. But there were reasons I distanced myself from the person. And if I’m being brutally honest here I don’t plan to open my door to them anytime soon. For some that makes me cold hearted.

But the news of the sudden death did give me a jolt of sorts. Yes treasure the time you have on this earth because it could be gone in an instant. But also as I discussed with my dad last night surround yourself with positive people. Negativity drags the body and mind down especially constant criticism and cruelty like mind games. Honesty is imperative but there’s a definitive line between honesty and negativity. My mum used to tell my sister and I don’t wear your hair in pigtails. She preferred us in short hair like Dorothy Hamill⛸️. My sister and I are thirteen months apart and at school there were a group of girls who ridiculed how we dressed ( we weren’t allowed to wear jeans until high school). The constant negative comments about our shoes ( no tennis shoes also per mum) our hair our book bags our outfits drove my sister and I to beg our parents to buy us Jordache jeans and Nike tennis shoes in the early 1980s so we could fit in. I shutter to think of what my nieces in middle school now are facing from their peers. They have each other to lean on but sometimes even that isn’t enough.

I try to be supportive of my friends. Lately I’ve crawled back into my shell so outings have diminished. My coworker told me Friday “ you focus far too much on work. You should go out more.” I know she told me this advice out of love and I took it in that spirit but it’s still hard to hear. I do focus too much on work. I always have and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’d rather be alone then in a toxic relationship or environment. I treasure the few close friends I do have. Their love and support have been immeasurable. I’ll soon be seeing one after three years in person. 😁

“I get by with a little help from my friends”

The Beatles

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️