Benison Anyone?

On Tuesday I took my middle pup Max to the cardiologist because he has a heart murmur and needs medical clearance to get a dental cleaning. His echocardiogram shows a grade 4 heart murmur with a leaky valve. The heart is getting larger and will ultimately result in congestive heart failure. Max is 9 years old. Yes he’s over weight, needs to exercise a lot more and he’s a tough little dude. The vet was calm and soothing and explained the results of the echocardiogram and ultrasound very succinctly and slowly to me. He thinks Max has had the murmur for a few years probably undetected because he hasn’t had any symptoms ( ie cough, listlessness, loss of appetite). Max will go on heart medications and then have a follow up echocardiogram in six months.

After my dad came out of the hospital in late January he lost 40 pounds ( 6’3 weighed 228 now weighs 188). He recently turned 84. His mind is sharp as a tack. He isn’t that mobile anymore cannot drive and says he’s a shell of what he used to be. But he still runs his tax preparer business and now has a part time care giver to help him upkeep the house and my mum’s two cats. The feeling of isolation and helplessness that his body was failing him he says now he understands our mum’s mental state much better. He doesn’t drive anymore and has allowed himself to accept help which two years ago would have been unheard of as he managed care for my mum alone. I gave him a chess set for his birthday so he could play with the care giver Anthony.

I recently drove past where my old office used to be. It’s gone now the business park totally demolished to make way for a future Marriott Hotel and adjacent condos. The demolition happened in April of this year. Twenty five years of my life was spent working and commuting to that office. It’s now a huge hole in the ground. I know how fortunate I was to be employed for almost half my life with one company. I realize now how much freedom and importance I possessed and needed there. Perhaps it’s made me stronger to handle the rough patches I feel now working with a toxic negative person almost every day.

I had lunch last Sunday with a local friend. She is moving in a few months to a beautiful lakefront house from her old home. She got divorced two years ago and she told me Sunday the pain of coming home every day to memories of him in that house got too overwhelming. I’m on cloud nine for her.

Finally without going into details I smiled and felt such joy when my crush Tobias Menzies won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor for The Crown. Gillian Anderson won Best Supporting Actress, Olivia Colman won Best Actress and Josh O’Connor won the Emmy for Best Actor all for The Crown and The Crown won the Emmy for Best drama series. I know you can’t always get what you want but sometimes you do get what you need.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

16 thoughts on “Benison Anyone?

  1. I’m so sorry about your dog! Hope he’ll be OK for a long time yet. A little comfort story: we had a family dog who was also diagnosed with a heart murmur quite late, I think he was 10. He was on pills for the rest of his life but the rest of his life was quite long: he died just shy of his 18th birthday. i hope your dog will grow just as old.

    Good to hear that your dad is accepting help now. I hope that will have a positive effect on his spirits.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you Esther. 18 for a dog is very very long life! It is comforting too. Yes Max will be on meds for rest of his life. Just need to get his weight under control now it is cooler more walks and fresh air
      Yes my dad accepting help is huge! He relies on Anthony now and almost views him like a second son which is really nice. Anthony is a take charge person which also is comforting that my dad is being looked after properly with his best interest at heart

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sascha is 14.5 years now and she is sharp and alert like a 3 year old dog
        Anthony has settled in to working Mon to Sat but when he first started 6 months ago he wasn’t that reliable so my dad said be here or I’ll find someone else! Anthony has become a godsend now taking a lot of pressure off my sister in caring for our dad ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Amazing what we can learn from others when we are stuck in the same situation. As they say, don’t judge until
    you walk in someone’s shoes. Life has a way of bringing that around to you so you begin to understand
    where someone has been, mentally, emotionally and I believe it gives you more compassion and just
    a tad more kindness the next time you run into it.

    My money is on Max!! There are dogs as well as people who defy the norm and Max may well be one of those.
    When and if Max and I meet we shall discuss how we handle our heart murmurs together, however, I am
    not on medicines, so he will have the up on me. As they say, animals are all heart. Max has a problem
    but you know his personality and the fight inside him will surpass what is expected. I personally have learned
    it is more what is inside than what you are told and sometimes even we do not know what we have inside
    until confronted.

    Pleased that your father is getting along well and has help by way of Anthony. We all need someone to help us
    along the way and I am glad he has found someone. Also, good for him for being sharp as a tac. Sometimes
    I feel my brain is slipping away in a million scattered directions. So to your father and Max i lift my glass.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh thank you so much Irish
      You’ll meet Max don’t worry he’s a very easy going determined little man built like a tank
      I’m very happy my dads mind is razor sharp it is very comforting
      He’s sleeping better too !


    1. Bless you Jane. She is moving about 25 minutes from me to a city I used to live in. She showed me the house and oh my god it is like a celebrity home. I begged her to keep the purple walls throughout the house very modern and overlooks a lake
      I was over the moon when TM won
      He should have won for Outlander and S3 if The Crown and he was so gracious to dedicate the win to Michael K Williams Omar in The Wire
      Just so decent and graceful of him

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope all the best for Max. My friend’s cat has a tumor behind her eye. It’s not painful but it diminishes her eye sight and of course it’s un-operationable. So we are a bit sad 😑

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tried to go on a walk w Max and his big sis Sascha and my local friend and he over heated drinking lots of water so we had to cut it short too warm still
      His heart will continue to grow larger but he has started medications which will help.
      Bless your friends cat too but animals are resourceful and resilient ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh thank you Herba! Yes I hope the meds will stabilize the enlarged heart
      It is a huge relief that my dad is accepting Anthony as a care giver and not relies on him fully. Truly a world of difference from a year ago!

      Liked by 1 person

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