On Tuesday I took my middle pup Max to the cardiologist because he has a heart murmur and needs medical clearance to get a dental cleaning. His echocardiogram shows a grade 4 heart murmur with a leaky valve. The heart is getting larger and will ultimately result in congestive heart failure. Max is 9 years old. Yes he’s over weight, needs to exercise a lot more and he’s a tough little dude. The vet was calm and soothing and explained the results of the echocardiogram and ultrasound very succinctly and slowly to me. He thinks Max has had the murmur for a few years probably undetected because he hasn’t had any symptoms ( ie cough, listlessness, loss of appetite). Max will go on heart medications and then have a follow up echocardiogram in six months.
After my dad came out of the hospital in late January he lost 40 pounds ( 6’3 weighed 228 now weighs 188). He recently turned 84. His mind is sharp as a tack. He isn’t that mobile anymore cannot drive and says he’s a shell of what he used to be. But he still runs his tax preparer business and now has a part time care giver to help him upkeep the house and my mum’s two cats. The feeling of isolation and helplessness that his body was failing him he says now he understands our mum’s mental state much better. He doesn’t drive anymore and has allowed himself to accept help which two years ago would have been unheard of as he managed care for my mum alone. I gave him a chess set for his birthday so he could play with the care giver Anthony.
I recently drove past where my old office used to be. It’s gone now the business park totally demolished to make way for a future Marriott Hotel and adjacent condos. The demolition happened in April of this year. Twenty five years of my life was spent working and commuting to that office. It’s now a huge hole in the ground. I know how fortunate I was to be employed for almost half my life with one company. I realize now how much freedom and importance I possessed and needed there. Perhaps it’s made me stronger to handle the rough patches I feel now working with a toxic negative person almost every day.
I had lunch last Sunday with a local friend. She is moving in a few months to a beautiful lakefront house from her old home. She got divorced two years ago and she told me Sunday the pain of coming home every day to memories of him in that house got too overwhelming. I’m on cloud nine for her.
Finally without going into details I smiled and felt such joy when my crush Tobias Menzies won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor for The Crown. Gillian Anderson won Best Supporting Actress, Olivia Colman won Best Actress and Josh O’Connor won the Emmy for Best Actor all for The Crown and The Crown won the Emmy for Best drama series. I know you can’t always get what you want but sometimes you do get what you need.
Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️