That Pesky Little Habit

It wasn’t a twitch. It couldn’t be blamed on Tourette’s syndrome. Just spontaneous combustion of frustration and impatience as they rolled from left to right and back again. We all have bad habits not huge but small irksome ones that may drive others crazy. My pesky little habit is rolling my eyes. Now I confess I do not have a poker face. I would be lousy at any card games involving money or betting. I would lose every time because my face gives me away.

Yes I’m a stickler for time and absolutely yes I have been late for things before but I do roll my eyes when I’m annoyed at myself and at others for tardiness. I bring this subject up because at work I had rolled my eyes when a coworker who’s always late said it’s important to be on time. I did have my mask on and I did have my back turned to her when she made this declaration. In my mind I was thinking “take your own advice!”

Waiting in line will bring on an eye roll from me ( a pesky little habit I inherited from my dad). The eye roll signifies impatience and intolerance which is arrogant on my part because the other person will take my eye roll as so rude! It is rude I admit and I try to contain myself as much as possible. My old boss rolled his eyes all the time and I felt a kindred spirit with him. My habit does get me into trouble especially with my brother because he’ll snap at me “don’t roll your eyes at me!” and yup I then roll my eyes at him! I googled what does eye rolling mean and it’s a passive aggressive form of immaturity.. that a person rolling his or her eyes is looking down on another person. I truly think this is extreme in interpretation. I think for me it is more disbelief and yes sometimes boredom, but trust me I don’t have the ego to think I’m better then anybody else. More the opposite in all candor.

What I can do with this pesky little habit?

Is there a habit others think is annoying or rude?

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Sleep Well Irene

In 1980 a tiny movie titled Fame came out about life at New York’s High School For Performing Arts. The most memorable character for me in that film was Coco played by Irene Cara. Coco on the outside was self-confident and smart and skilled as a dancer, singer and musician ( she played the piano) but her need for fame compromised who she was on the inside. Irene owned that role. Her star would continue to rise singing “Flashdance What a Feeling” in 1982. That song earned her an Oscar for Best Original Song as well as a Golden Globe and Grammy. Irene passed away on Friday Nov 25 at 63.

Her death has hit me hard maybe because she was only 8 years older than me. Maybe because I grew up to her music. My sister and I would dance around our bedroom pretending we were on stage lip synching to “ I’m gonna live forever I’m gonna learn how to fly.” She had such elegance and grace as a performer and personally that she was relatable and appreciated all that she had. I hope she was at peace and knew how much she was loved by her fans and how much she touched so many young girls like my sister and I. What a beautiful soul will be sorely missed.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️

Esprit De Corps

Last Sunday 20 November I ventured to the Kennedy Center to see the ballet “Cendrillon” or Cinderella performed by les Ballet de Monte Carlo company. First I’ve been to Monaco when I travelled to Nice in 2010 and took a day trip to Monte Carlo because I was curious where Grace Kelly had made her home. Second I had no idea Monte Carlo had a ballet and toured extensively. Finally I’m always excited to see a production of Cinderella since it’s one of my favorite fairy tales.

The first half of the ballet set up the plot of Cinderella mourning the loss of her mother and her father remarrying the Stepmother. The wedding slip dress symbolized love and unity between Cinderella’s mum and her dad. This ballet was much more modern dance in visuals then a classical ballet which can be good and bad. As a viewer I’m a traditional fan of jumps, lifts and pirouettes. Here I would have liked more of all three. The staging was extremely minimalist with white backdrop and steep stairs where Cinderella would descend. The second half picked up momentum as Cinderella with her father’s blessing found her Prince Charming. I liked that the Prince wasn’t the focal point of the story but rather icing on the cake. The costumes were pastels and rich velour with a very Versace modern style to them. The ending of fairy dust floating down accompanied Cinderella dressed in her mother’s white wedding slip dress resulted in a ten minute standing ovation.

Title of post inspiration
Apropos to ballet

Love DC in November
Gorgeous sky
Cold but cozy

View from a rooftop
Paper program this time 😯

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Never Never Land

A huge positive of feedback from a blog is the comment section because at least for me I get a feel if my post has resonated with readers.

It’s been four years since I started this blog. The anniversary was so under the radar that WordPress didn’t even notify me in October. Anniversaries are two fold for me. Necessary to reflect and realize the event but a nemesis to regurgitate uncomfortable memories. The last four years have passed me by in a blink. The two biggest impacts for me consisted of my mums death in December 2020 and the lockdown from the end of March 2020 to early May 2020. Both made me realize how wonderful and wicked families can be.

In many ways this blog has been a journey for me to grow up. To mature and manage my thoughts and emotions by writing about interest and interactions that have affected me good and bad. Originally the blog was going to be more Richard Armitage focused because I was knee deep in that fandom. But I realized there are far more interesting and entertaining blogs about him out there so I focused more on what makes me tick.

In the four years I’ve tried not to gaze at statistics including likes and comments because I didn’t want to gravitate to topics which garnered the most interests. There are some topics I steer clear of and many more I would like to tackle here but haven’t found the right avenue yet to approach them from. In the beginning I blogged twice a week on Mondays and Fridays always writing out a draft version first then typing it in WordPress. Now I write from my heart free verse then look for typos and grammar structure before I publish. I upped the blogging days to three times a week after lockdown until recently. Do I get stressed about what to write? Yeah sometimes at the beginning of the week I’m a tabula rosa then I get an idea 💡 and write out a post in fifteen minutes. Sometimes I write a post at lunch or when I get home. Sometimes an idea will come from driving to work or I’ll hear a song on the radio and how it has affected me. Of course I’ve written extensively about work and being single. I used to write quite a bit about Richard Armitage even some short fan fic on his characters. Clearly music has a huge influence on me and I enjoy blogging about artists and songs from the 1980s because that’s a huge chunk of my childhood and young adulthood. One of my major themes here is accountability so many posts reflect my views on owning how I act and react to others. The blog also seeks advice on dealing with situations that I’m ambivalent about like work drama, social media, bullying, hypocrisy, and love. I’d really like to think I’m a honest authentic person. I don’t play mind games here. I welcome all comments respectfully and a huge goal of this blog is conversation. I’m always learning here which is why comments are huge for me. In many ways this blog serves more than a diary of my thoughts and experiences but also to hold me accountable for what I say and do. I may be 55 but often I feel like Peter Pan.

What does accountability mean to you?

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Anti Hero

I’ll preface this post by saying I’m not a Taylor Swift fan per se. Yes some of her tunes are catchy ( Style comes to mind) but for the most part I’ve not kept up with her music. I will say she is a very hard worker, in my mind has a great work ethic, and isn’t perfect personally. She’s also a gifted songwriter because her lyrics are raw. She uses a lot of metaphors to describe her feelings and in this realm I can relate. Do I think she spills too much tea at times( ie “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together) yeah but for all her monetary success she’s still human.

So when I heard “Anti Hero” from her latest offering Midnights I connected. The song to me is about perception about what people see vs how we deem ourselves as to accountability . And I have to say it’s refreshing to know that someone at her level of success ( first ever artist to have ten singles in the US Billboard top ten simultaneously) has not only doubts about herself but admits when she has crossed the line. I’m not being schadenfreude here at all. “ Anti Hero “ screams “ I’ve got issues just like everybody else does”. To me the song is a poem about owning our actions and making amends and repairs to broken relationships. Taylor has a string of past boyfriends that she has written about over the years. But in Anti Hero to me she shifts the blame onto herself even if she doesn’t really want to admit it. That’s real and relatable and why I connected with this song.

About Harry Styles supposedly
Rumored to be about Jake Gyllenhaal

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Annis Horribilis

Sometimes crawling into a shell can be a welcome relief a safe haven from chaos, calamity, and crisis. Currently I’m binge watching Netflix’s The Crown Series 5 which centers around the early to mid 1990s of the Royals’ lives. 1992 was a particularly horrendous year for Queen Elizabeth: three of her four children were separated and/or divorcing their spouses and Windsor Castle caught on fire. I gather from the series that honor and duty reigned over family for the late Queen. The public’s perception of the Royal family is ambiguous at best.

But perception is a funny prickly thing. Many grey areas engulf what we believe and process of other people. Even knowing people intimately and intrinsically can lead to dire consequences. If I look back on my worst year it would be 2013. A failed marriage, body changes, depression, anger, general fear for my life and a death all culminated in a year I never want to repeat.

From my annis horribilis I did learn a lot about myself. Perhaps a given to some or maybe I’m a slow learner but I found out you reep what you sow or be careful what you wish for. Settling for someone you aren’t in love with nor loves you only breeds contempt. Adversity is a harbinger of growth, germination, and gain. No pain no gain as it’s been noted.

Was there an annis horribilis for you and what lesson(s) were learned?

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Another Platform?!

So the big news in social media circles for the last few months is Elon Musk’s battle and victory in purchasing the social media platform Twitter. There was a great question on another blog about how we as readers feel about his purchase. I replied sarcastically that I hope it sinks. See for me personally I knew virtually nothing about Twitter until three years ago. To be mocked and bullied in general are very bad things. Put that in a public platform for bullies and trolls to freely have at other people including setting up fake accounts as celebrities to mock and harass others well it’s all high school behavior. Have you seen Heathers?

So I’m all for free enterprise. I’m all for free speech until it intentionally hurts other people. If someone feels the need to attack others to make themselves feel better and others applaud that type of behavior with high fives or love emojis or endless compliments then something is very wrong with our global community. Trump used Twitter as a tool while in office. Musk has fired those Twitter employees that regulate the content on Twitter. Zuckerberg on Facebook I think has let that platform get out of control ( I’m not on there either). In theory both platforms meant well. They connected people through technology. There’s nothing wrong with that. What is wrong in my opinion is when people use these platforms to intentionally hurt other people.

So apparently there are now other platforms out there to join if one is seeking exodus from Twitter. The fandom I’m in Richard Armitage he’s now signed up with Mastodon which is a software program to self host so it is decentralized. To be honest I’m not sure what all that means. This platform apparently has been around since 2016. The thought of trying to navigate another place with more passwords to memorize and use clever avatars and usernames make my head spin round round like a record baby.

Do you think social media platforms have connected us as a global community or created more divisions?

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Generation X

Last Monday I discussed lingo that “commonly” spawn out of Millennial mouths so today I thought I’d chat about my generation Generation X. Those born between 1965 to roughly 1980-81 fall in this socio demographic. Characteristics of Gen X ers are: self sufficient, resourceful, freedom loving, independent and responsible one of the must important attributes. Gen X has been dubbed “ The Lost Generation” because a lot of political, economic, and social conflicts like war, recession, uptick in divorces, racial inequality led to rebellious youths and young adults feeling lonely and isolated aka latch key kids.

Some of Gen X token expressions were:

Gnarly

Rad

Gag me with a spoon

Take a chill pill

Yuppie

Headbanger

Diss

Gen X are the first group to grow up with a personal computer and home gaming devices. Gen X prefer the phone, email and now texting. I’m a phone and e-mail gal over texting. I think much tone and mood can get lost in a text message versus speaking on the phone or conveying thoughts in an email. Popular music that sprung forth when Gen X were youths were punk, rap and grunge. Perhaps the music reflected anger at the status quo but one attribute Gen X are not slackers although they were accused of this trait and stereotyped as apathetic in many movies in the late 1980s and early 1990s.

Here’s a list of 15 influential events that shaped Gen X’ers as they were growing up:

  • Fall of the Berlin Wall
  • Challenger disaster
  • Energy crisis
  • Jonestown mass suicide
  • Rise of the personal computer
  • Watergate scandal
  • Lockerbie flight bombing
  • Three Mile Island meltdown
  • Corporate layoffs
  • Rodney King beating
  • Iranian hostage crisis
  • Stock market decline
  • Exxon Valdez oil tanker spill
  • Operation Desert Storm
  • Terrorism at the Munich Olympics

Source is managementisajourney.com

Gen X unofficial color is turquoise which represents calm, happy and tranquility. So let’s all just take a chill pill.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

The Art of Mystery Storytelling

Recently I’ve started watching the Hulu original series Only Murders In The Building which centers around three avid true crime podcast listeners who all live in the same swanky building in New York City. One ( Steve Martin who co created the series) is a once famous actor who played a Kojak/Columbo like character back in the day. The second Oliver (Martin Short) plays a big time Broadway producer past his prime in financial upheaval. The third is Mabel( Selena Gomez) who is squatting at her aunt’s huge apartment “redecorating”. Steve Martin and Martin Short’s characters are old school trying to fit in to the Millennium age especially technology wise. Oliver text Mabel signing his name at the end of the text like a letter ( I love that!) Mabel has a back story and isn’t what she originally presents herself as to the two guys.

The series 1 title originates as the three embark on creating their own podcast entitled yup Only Murders In The Building. A who dun it mirroring the latest trend in uncovering unsolved mysteries via radio. A bit of modern technology meets old fashion storytelling. So far I like how the series has been laid out from the crime happening ( fellow tenant Tim Kono has been shot making it look like a suicide) to the three using a story board like real detectives use to research the likely suspects. The heart and soul of the series are Steve Martin and Martin Short because they throw dialogue around at each other effortlessly. For me as a viewer I love a mystery where there are red herrings galore and subtle clues are given that seem insignificant but are actually the keys to the solution.

There is a series 2 now streaming on Hulu and series 3 will be released soon. I hope series 2 retains the same charm as series 1 in that the art of storytelling leaves us viewers guessing until the very end.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Netflix and Chill

My nieces were born in 2010 which makes them whatever comes after Millennials. Lately at work we see a lot of actual Millennials as patients telling us older folks to “ have a good one.” When I was growing up that referenced enjoying oneself drinking or eating. Now it’s a supposed good bye salutation. I began wondering what are some popular Millennial phrases that may eventually pop out of my nieces’ mouths that I’ll need Google handily in my pocket.

Sorry Not Sorry: a Demi Lovato song that I do know but this phrase actually means unremorseful conduct or lack of empathy for something said or done. The phrase in itself could describe some of the problems I have with Millennial attitude about social media.

Spilling The Tea: gossiping which we all do to an extent but apparently the tea is about someone else not Yorkshire or Lipton’s or Earl Grey.

Woke: an awakening or spring to life over a cause. It would be more than refreshing if young people voted 🗳 more

Salty: bad mood or grumpy. I’ve seen Meh too which is below salty or equivalent or a hybrid? What’s next peppery ?

The Struggle is real: apparently this is a mocking phrase not a conviviality. When I was in my twenties this phrase would have meant I empathize with the person I understand what they are going through. Now is the antithesis which is sad and depressing.

Thirsty: craving something ( ie followers on social media ) or wanting something so badly it’s time to step back. So if I’m thirsty for water what the ?

Trolls: admittedly I’ve had to have this word explained to me several times in the last four years because I associate it with Lord of the Rings movies but trolls are people online who write nasty comments about others. I find this Mean Girls behavior where karma is the best antidote.

Basic: if my nieces ever told my sister and I this phrase I’d be crushed because apparently it means middle of the road and standard personality and physical look. I would never tell anyone they are standard how mean is that!

Bae: love or significant other. Just say babe or honey or my personal favorite lovely. Listen to Sonny and Cher they rocked:

Bounce: leaving a place quickly. How about just saying gotta go or this

RT: means retweet but as I’ve made my feelings known about Twitter who now will have Elon Musk as it’s head honcho ( who fired 75% of the employees) this is f***

Clap back: retaliation for something said. You s** on me basically I’ll return the favor. A favorite among politicians and reality stars.

Hunty: calling someone out on something with a noun instead of a verb. Is that troll behavior?

Sus: means suspicious but the Millennial was too lazy to say the whole word. Again mind over matter. What’s a good song for this word?

Ratchet: gone off the rails like train wreck which describes me every other day.

I can’t even: get why some of these expressions exist. I’m not a mind reader I don’t know what I can’t even really means!

Lit: euphoric happy. In my day it meant drunk 🥴

Because duh: stupid saying simply stating that someone is sarcastic

Slay: doing an exemplary job. I like the GOT version better

Adulting: get used to this word Millennials it will happen before you know it. It’s my world welcome to it!

Any phrases you use or heard lately?

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️