A Small Battle Cry

So last weekend I was looking forward to a long overdue appointment to get a facial and eye brow wax at a local franchise establishment. I had visited the place last year and thought it was decent not grand but not bad either. A few days prior to Saturday’s appointment I rang them up and asked if they had any earlier time slots than 3:15 and that I wanted to get my eyebrows waxed at the same time as the facial. I was told “to just ask the esthetician when I came about the eyebrow wax.” Sure no problem. Saturday arrived I checked in and waited for the esthetician who escorted me back to her room and went over some preliminary instructions. I then reminded her about the eyebrow wax and she said no the “brewing machine had not been turned on and needed a hour to get hot” ( I’m paraphrasing her response). So I countered then heat it up now since the facial takes about 50-55 minutes and the eye brow wax will take like 10 minutes. She said no. I told her I specifically asked for the eye brow wax with the facial when I called a few days ago about the appointment. She countered “ nobody told me that “. So my voice went up an octave in frustration because I have special plans next weekend and wanted the facial and especially the eye brow wax on Saturday to relax me and doll me up. She didn’t budge so I said I felt uncomfortable and left. Then I madly googled eyebrow wax near me found a place with same day appointments and was welcome with open arms. I also booked the next eye brow wax with them.

What I took away from this experience:

1 I hate confrontation ( the original post today was all about that but I have postponed it for now)

2 I hate looking forward to something and having my plans spoiled through no fault of my own ( usually I do something to wreck my expectation)

3 I hate when people don’t take accountability for their actions or lack of action as was my case ( see all my work rants)

4 I hate “making a scene in public” ( the German and Irish were on loudspeaker)

5 I hate feeling duped or that I’m not worth going the extra mile for (ie turn on the freakin machine while I’m having the facial)

Did I overreact? Was I a total bitch to this esthetician? I almost wrote a scathing review online but I decided I’ll never go to this establishment ever again. And there are greener pastures to graze in.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Dream A Little Dream

Dreams are mystifying at times. Some dreams are crystal clear like floating on a bed of clouds or being chase down the street by Freddy Kruger. But others are in that grey area for me. I haven’t dreamt about my Armitage crush in a very long time. But his new Netflix gig aptly called Obsession drops on April 13.

Dreams are __________ what for you?

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Froideur or Friendship?

Recently I read some news about the death of a loved one of a person I used to know. I didn’t know them well but I’d like to think I gave them the benefit of the doubt of being sincere. Death of a loved one is never an easy pill to swallow so I am empathetic to the grieving process. But there were reasons I distanced myself from the person. And if I’m being brutally honest here I don’t plan to open my door to them anytime soon. For some that makes me cold hearted.

But the news of the sudden death did give me a jolt of sorts. Yes treasure the time you have on this earth because it could be gone in an instant. But also as I discussed with my dad last night surround yourself with positive people. Negativity drags the body and mind down especially constant criticism and cruelty like mind games. Honesty is imperative but there’s a definitive line between honesty and negativity. My mum used to tell my sister and I don’t wear your hair in pigtails. She preferred us in short hair like Dorothy Hamill⛸️. My sister and I are thirteen months apart and at school there were a group of girls who ridiculed how we dressed ( we weren’t allowed to wear jeans until high school). The constant negative comments about our shoes ( no tennis shoes also per mum) our hair our book bags our outfits drove my sister and I to beg our parents to buy us Jordache jeans and Nike tennis shoes in the early 1980s so we could fit in. I shutter to think of what my nieces in middle school now are facing from their peers. They have each other to lean on but sometimes even that isn’t enough.

I try to be supportive of my friends. Lately I’ve crawled back into my shell so outings have diminished. My coworker told me Friday “ you focus far too much on work. You should go out more.” I know she told me this advice out of love and I took it in that spirit but it’s still hard to hear. I do focus too much on work. I always have and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’d rather be alone then in a toxic relationship or environment. I treasure the few close friends I do have. Their love and support have been immeasurable. I’ll soon be seeing one after three years in person. 😁

“I get by with a little help from my friends”

The Beatles

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

The Glass Half Semi Full?

The term fight or flight really hit home for me on Tuesday. I was running an errand at lunch to buy some birthday cards and wrapping paper for my nieces upcoming day. As I was perusing the 75% full parking lot by the Dollar Store I found a decent spot, unbuckled, pulled out my shopping bag and mask and turned off my car’s engine. A woman was wandering around the parking lot and spied me bolting over to my car and knocking on my window. I thought when I saw her please leave me alone. I wasn’t in any mood to banter besides a sinus headache and lack of sleep I just wanted to shop in peace. Soo I buckled up and drove away actually back to my office flight indeed!

Perhaps one reason I bolted out of there was an incident on my neighborhood message board about two older women approaching a young woman at a Metro stop near where I once worked and asking to use her mobile phone. The comments section was eye opening as the majority of responses were of the sort that these two women could have unlocked the girl’s password code and gotten into her bank account, credit card account and contacts list. In 2023 many people use their phones for everything and are so reliant on their phones that stolen identity theft has become easier than ever.

Now I use my phone to check my email, text on What’s App and peruse EBay my home away from home. 😁I do not online bank and I’ve gotten rid of my debit bank card. I pay my bills the old fashioned way by writing a check. My trust in everything technical is already minuscule so I don’t want to tempt fate. But at want point do we trust modernization? If one is stuck somewhere a mobile phone is imperative. I remember in college I was driving home and my car overheated and I was stuck. This was back in 1986 and two local farmers helped me to a garage to repair the car. Today I don’t think I’d have been that lucky. I didn’t tell my parents about the car. I thought then alls well that ends well. Looking back my naïveté was stupid.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Bend It Like Beckham

Saturday night at the movies returns with the sleeper hit of 2002 “Bend It Like Beckham” a movie about a teenage British Indian girl who dreams of becoming a professional footballer like her idol David Beckham. The movie is part love story part morality tale of different cultures facing racism, separatism, and familial obligations. Jess longs to play football ( soccer in American terms) but faces obstacles from both her traditional Indian family values as well as British society that women can’t play football in a male dominated sports arena.

Twenty plus years on the film explores not only girl power but also how minorities try to preserve their culture heritage while still striving to give their children opportunities that they didn’t have. The film has a happy ending trying to achieve the best of both worlds. I found myself cheering for Jess and the innocence and optimism she evoked in the film. Truly a symbol of hope and inspiration to bend it like Beckham.

Music is great from the movie too:

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Metier Parfait

One of my nieces is taking violin lessons. She’s no Hilary Hahn, Midori, Joshua Bell, or Anne-Sophie Mutter but my niece enjoys learning the intricacies of the violin. My other niece is more into building things like my brother. My sister was always a great sketch artist when she was the twins age. I was a voracious reader and wrote in my journal cliched stuff like my hopes and dreams. I wrote a bit of poetry at twelve and thirteen but wrote more intensely when I was in my thirties. None of us would be considered child prodigies like the folks I first mentioned above but I think at twelve years old just navigating middle school is hard enough.

Although I love to travel I couldn’t see myself living out of a suitcase monthly to write travel books. I love to fly but mainly once or twice a year not monthly. Maybe I could have been a great travel agent but they are obsolete now with the internet and DIY apps like Expedia and Travelocity. Maybe I could have been a script doctor but my imagination isn’t that creative and I’d probably had to live in Hollywood to really earn a living and that’s a non starter for me. I love to sing 🎤 but have stage fright so that possibility was out. I’m a huge theater buff but again the stage fright would stop me from putting both feet on the stage. Ballet 🩰 was my world when I was eight and nine but when we moved to Germany that dream ended. I love shopping and could have been a personal shopper for someone ( how hard could that job be?). I love watching football and tennis and maybe could have been an analyst or side line reporter but I’m more of an introvert and would constantly worry about my weight ( although I do that anyway). My mum always thought I’d be a good “Barbara Walters” because I liked to asked a lot of questions but I chose a different major in college. I could have been a literary agent like Jackie O living in NYC since l love that city. But I chose the wrong major. I could have been a professional marathon runner if only I were twenty five pounds slimmer with a healthy back and knees. I could have been married with children oh wait I was married.

What are you particularly good at?

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

A Pangloss At Heart ♥️

A year seems like a long time but it comes in a split second now a days. The war in Ukraine reached the one year mark this past Friday. How in 2023 can we as a global community let war continue to happen? Ukraine isn’t backing down and Russia isn’t giving up. Eventually something’s gonna give.

The U.S. has committed foolhardy mistakes depending on how one looks at it. One huge invasion springs to mind that we are still feeling repercussions from. Inevitably time passes and we lose interest or the media spotlights another story or war or mass shooting. The price of eggs has skyrocketed here in the US. Higher energy prices in the US caused inflation to rise last year. Gas prices in the US have been on a roller coaster too even creating a temporary shortage in April of last year. Are we just becoming more easily immune to the troubles in the world and our home countries?

It’s been mentioned here many times the inertia I feel about the state of the world. The senseless violence and catastrophic consequences of invading another country have ripple effects throughout the world. Shining even a flashlight on the one year mark of this invasion hopefully reminds us all how far we still have to go to find some semblance of peace.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

An A-Ha Moment

The song sprung forth from the Eighties Sirius XM satellite radio channel as I was driving home on Wednesday. The Norwegian band was huge when my sister and I were teenagers. We saw them in concert in 1985 in San Antonio, Texas when we were in high school. The trio were always introspective perhaps melancholy and grateful for their success. They told the crowd of screaming teenagers “ thank you for hunting high and low”. The lead singer Morten Harket studied theology and philosophy at university. He thinks of himself as an engager not an entertainer which is quite refreshing.

As I was listening to A-ha on Wednesday I reminisced about the concerts my sister and I used to attend. Our last concert together was Elton John in 1997 before my sister moved permanently to Texas. Our last vacation was in 2018 when she turned 50. Admittedly there’s a lot of resentment on both sides of the aisle between us. Growing up we were like twins only 13 months apart even our mum dressed us identical when we were young. Now we have vastly different fashion styles and points of view on everything. All of this begs the question it’s not too late to reconnect to get back some of the a ha moment but I’m still hunting high and low for the answer.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Is It Hot In Here?

Some days the temperature feels like I’m living inside a volcano and it’s only February. Sweat, sleeplessness ( from the sweat), suffocating stress, self-induced mood swings, and surmounting belly fat have all rung the bell of the dreaded M word. The M word signals for us women the end of conception and the beginning of well I’m not sure.

Pre M I did experience monthly cycles of bloating often painful craps and torrential mood swings. Alas men are not excluded either. Now the equivalent for men is lower testosterone levels with symptoms including depression, lack of sex drive, and ED. Men’s middle sections also bloat and fatty tissue create nests there too similar to women. In those respects men feel aging symptoms just as likely as women do.

For women like me the M phase of aging started three years ago. I’ve always been a late bloomer. I started my monthly cycle when I was 15. I lost my youthful innocence when I was 23 both experiences were quite physically painful. My mum started menopause when she was my age now 55. For her the hot flashes were the worst. For me it’s everything. I tend to let small things crawl under my skin. I’m definitely less patient now. As someone who has never liked her body the changes that I see now including weight gain, tummy fat and those phoenix rising hot flashes have been hard to handle. If anyone ever comes to visit my house bring a jacket even in the summer.

Stay safe stay well ❤️❤️❤️

Sascha

Three days ago on Valentine’s Day Sascha turned 16. As a mum I was filled with both joy and sadness that my first born turned such a huge milestone. She’s very active very bossy very aware of her surroundings but she is partially if not substantially blind. Her hearing is impeccable and she’s still quite obstinate about her surroundings. My two boys respect her immensely and play with her as if she were a puppy. But she’s not anymore she’s 16 now. Inevitably her time will come but I saw yesterday online a dog who was 30 and looked about 15!

Getting back to Sascha from the start she was an alpha female taking over the bed from my other dog Chloe who was twice her size. Sascha or The Sheriff as is her sobriquet rules the roost at home. Nothing and nobody get past her approval. She is by my side when I have my massive headaches. She snuggles with me in bed as I struggle to fall asleep. Even in her blindness she knows where I am at home all the time. She is my touchstone my rock my soul in so many ways.